(first draft)
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Epilogue
Twilight**
**
[present day]
As the sun began to set the torching heat of the late August day gave way to a cool evening breeze A. finally had a chance to make sense of what had happened in the last two weeks. Though things were more fucked up than ever he felt a strange calmness accompanied by a strong sense of detachment. It was as if all this was a distant memory so far into the past that facts and illusions were melting into an unrecognizable messy, sticky paste. As if none of these happened to him, they were just anecdotes told by a rather confused storyteller.
With the blood still dripping from his hands he was finding difficult to remember how it all started.
…
I remember the smell. A strange mix of sweat and vanilla, it will probably etched on my mind for the rest of my life. Still it looked like just another day the monotonous routine [sic.] giving no indications of the events about to unfold. ‘Events’, I suppose, isn’t the best word to describe them. ‘Events’ would indicate some kind of actions, physical movements something affecting time and space. This wasn’t the case. In fact, to an outside observer, there was absolutely no indication of the turmoil and changes. Of course this wouldn’t last, soon the whole world would know, but I’m talking strictly about the precise moment when it started and the few following hours.
**Cap. I – **When it rains it pours
The Water Tower Incident**
**
[10 days ago]
Now what the fuck am I supposed to do? I mean, I’ve been waiting for this moment, dreaming of it even praying to a God I don’t believe in for it. And now … I suppose this would serve as a text book definition of *irony. *Astral-universally-spanning-karmink-fucking IRONY. Still it could be worse … I mean, heck, I might as well make the best of it. Am I really in a position to be picky? Yeah! I’ll take what I can, I’ll make the most of it and fuck everybody else. They don’t give fuck about me why the fuck should I care it they get hurt. They’ll live … I have. Yeah! Fuck’em.
[later that evening]
She doesn’t look half bad … actually not bad at all. Yeah I could definitely see this working out just fine. **
Hi!, I said rather unsure of myself. Heeeeey, oh my goood it’s soo good to see you!!! she almost yelled as she grabbed me in the tightest hug I’ve had for a while. She sure is strong for such a tiny girl, I laughed to myself. Still a warm welcome if I’ve ever seen one. How was the trip, she asked. Not to bad, I’m kind of used to long trips, I said switching my ‘nonchalant’ mode. Well, trying to anyway. Come on, let me show you around maybe grab something to eat!
[past midnight]
What the fuck just happened??? Jesus fucking Christ … God I gotta get the fuck out of here … god, god, god … how … jesus I can’t even think straight … I gotta get the fuck out of here. Jesus I *so *don’t need this type of shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck insane motherfucking bitches. I got get home … Jesus … serves me right …
Maybe … just maybe**
[6 days ago]
Well this is interesting. I can’t stop smiling. Grinning actually. How the fuck could my whole life “philosophy”, everything I believe and “stand” for change so suddently and so easily. Am I really that superficial, so easily influenced. Probably learned more about myself today than in the last year. Still none of this actually matters. I’M HAPPY. Jesus fucking Christ I may actually be happy. This must be what it feels like. And I don’t give a fuck if it’s an illusion, I don’t care if I’m just probably going deeper into dementia, losing touch with reality … if that was even possible. But I don’t give a fuck. I’m going to hold on to this moment for as much as I can and that’s it. No reasons, no philosophical bullshit, no over-analyzing every insignificant piece of meaningless minutia. FUCK! I don’t care for your explanations, I don’t give a fuck about your rationalizations!
ciu bi continued…